i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
