I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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