dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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