What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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