? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
