Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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