..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
it's great music for shaving your balls
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
