I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
