I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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