She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
