Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
