Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
