I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
