Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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