Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
