Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Every concussion has its silver lining
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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