dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
