i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
