if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
