that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
