btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
