i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
