everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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