I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We talked him into tasing himself.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
