Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
honey bunches of taint.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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