Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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