Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
