I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
