He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
