I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
