My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
