I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
