i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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