"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
