Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
