Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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