I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
