So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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