We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
