Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
