that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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