Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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