so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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