One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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