thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
