There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
