Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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