I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
