Christians are straight up FREAKS
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
