dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
