But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
